My Blog

Thursday, April 28, 2011


This is what has been on my mind for the past 48 hours.

My work at QAI is going wonderfully. I'm so thankful for the people I work with, they are all so encouraging and welcoming.

I've been working 1-2 days a week for the past two months or so, waiting to be hired on full time. Yesterday my boss called me into his office to inform me that they would love to have me start working 4 days a week: 2 days working in the physical testing arena (my "focus") and 2 days working on a special administrative project. He further committed to me that when they meet their sales goals, I WILL be hired full time, 5 days a week.

I'm so blessed. I'm so thankful for what God has taught me about hard work in the last 2 years, since I first stepped foot out into the work world. 2 years ago I had an exceptionally shaky start, suffered the consequences of it, discovered where I needed to grow, and then God started growing me. In His perfect timing He has now placed me in this company where the people believe that I can contribute much. I am humbled by the wisdom of the more experienced persons in the company and am grateful that though they know SO MUCH MORE than me about what we do and how we do it, they patiently and slowly teach me, never expecting me to know more than I do, and praising me for what I learn.

Ok, I promised myself this post would only take me 5 minutes and I've already spent 10 minutes diverging from my originally intended topic.

Priorities. Though I feel blessed beyond words by this opportunity God has given me, I have this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. Starting next week I will be working Monday through Thursday, 8-5, leaving my house before 7 to get home almost 12 hours later. I feel the type of fear you would expect if you were being slowly lowered feet first onto a rapidly running treadmill. I'm concerned that the things that I treasure in my mind as priorities will fall by the wayside...I fear I'm gonna crash and burn.

God. My relationship with Him is should be my number one priority. Communing with Him by dwelling on His Word, praying to Him, praising Him. Taking time out of my day to focus on Him, never letting a day go by where the most attention I give to Him is a quick "Lord, help me," when I feel desperate.

Practically, I've always believed that for me this means opening the Bible every morning. Discouragingly, this is not yet a habit for me, and I know that as soon as my life gets crazier with work it will be even more difficult to make this a habit.

Brent. My relationship with him is should be my number two priority. Thankfully, for the most part, this comes pretty easy to me. :) Spending time with him is my favoritest thing ever, so even if we're both dog tired at the end of a day, our time together is sweet, encouraging and refreshing. I still have many ways I can grow in making Brent one of my foremost priorities, but God's made this priority of mine the easiest one of all. :)

Work. My commitment to work is should be my number three priority. Many of you may disagree with the way that Brent and I have ordered my last three priorities, but after prayer and scripture reading, I believe that for this phase of life work comes before meal preparation and house cleaning. Thankfully, my job so far has been one that I can completely leave "at work," I don't need to take any of it home with me, mentally or otherwise. That means that when I am home I am HOME and can focus on my other priorities.

Meal Preparation. My commitment to meal preparation is should be my number four priority. Brent and I DO NOT want to become a family that eats take out every night of the week. Though I get home close to 7 every night, I can muster up what energy I have left and whip up a meal, because a homecooked anything is almost always better than any cheap meal you can buy. Now that I'll be working close to full time Brent and I are discussing how I can make weeknight meal-making more weekends may need to be full of cooking.

Housecleaning. Housecleaning is should be my number five priority. I am a clean freak. Oh my goodness, I am a clean freak. This doesn't mean that my house is always clean. It just means that when it isn't, I freak. I have to keep up a rigorous schedule of chores to keep my home up to my standard....many weeks I fall short of my own standard, but when I hit it, man, those weeks I feel light as a feather. I feel like hiding under a cave when I think about what working full time will do to my cleaning schedule.

Now that I've listed my priorities, I'll let you in on a secret. Those are only priorities in my head. I have not taken those priorities to heart. You want to know what my actions and words reveal what my priority list is? Housecleaning, Meals, Brent, Work, God.

I discovered that secret about my heart the other day when I started mentally planning ahead for the coming monsoon. I'm realizing that the areas of my life that I am most anxious about losing control of are the ones that should be my lowest priorities (for this phase of our marriage, at least).

So in addition to all that I have on my plate right now, I have some serious heart issues to deal with! Praise be to God, I am not abandoned to deal with my heart on my own. He is faithful to guide, to break and to mold. Over the past 48 hours I've found myself praying the same things over and over again: Guide me as to what my priorities should be, and let my priorities sink into my heart.

1 comment:

  1. this post was a blessing to me -- the Lord working in a heart makes it the safest-kept heart-- and a mom can't be more blessed that to know her kids' hearts are safe!